Today officially marks the end of my first month on the raw diet. I know I keep saying this, but I am just so amazed that I've made it this far. What a blessing! I am in complete shock. This is especially true because my husband has been wavering a little bit, and encouraged me to loosen up a little bit, too, by having a vegan blow meal once a week.
In the past, I've tended to set my standard by his performance, but not this time. I'm so committed to this. I think he could start eating steaks every day and I still wouldn't budge. I absolutely know that this is going to be my life until February 21, 2014. Period. I'm really glad that I set this up as just a 6-month experiment. I think this has really freed me from the pressure that comes from "NEVER!!!"
Also, I can't believe this month has gone by so quickly. It's gone. I'm coming up on 5 weeks in just a few days, and it seems like it's both been just a few days, and also like I've always been doing this.
One thing that I've really enjoyed is feeling like I'm finally eating in line with my principles about health and nutrition. However, I'm still having guilt all the time about what I'm going wrong, or not enough, or only half-way. Maybe that's just my personality - to always be looking for what else I should be doing. When I was 119 pounds and fully vegan eating mostly living foods, I still beat myself up over the things I was doing wrong.
And here I am, fully raw, and I'm still picking myself to pieces. Gwen, Gwen, Gwen. Just settle the heck down and stop with the criticisms. Ain't nobody got time for that!
I will say that the last couple days have been a little more intense for me. I've been traveling and staying at my cousin's house, and she's trying to eat really healthy right now. Her idea of healthy and mine are totally different, and there are times that I find myself looking at her turkey wrap or chips and salsa and thinking, "How different are they really? What's so bad about what she's eating? What difference would it really make if that's what I was eating?"
Of course, I know all the answers to those questions - but I also easily forget. When I'm alone with my raw foods, it all makes sense and I'm quick to pat myself on the back and celebrate. But when I go out into the real world, it's like I just forget all the reasons I'm doing this.
Luckily, I've at least been able to muster up a, "You're doing this for a really good reason - whatever it is - so KEEP AT IT!" And that's enough to keep me happily munching on my carrots while the rest of the world munches on everything else.
*Sigh*
One down, five to go.
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